Day 51

I have to confess that I’ve struggled to find my happy today. I feel like part of me is missing. I don’t feel me. I’m absolutely sure that he’s having a great time; I’m absolutely sure that he’s safe; but he’s not here. And I miss him. I miss his smelly feet; his cheeky grin; his hugs. God knows what I’ll be like when he leaves home!

A has been off school again today. We’ve been to the doctors and A answered all the questions very well and in a very grown up way and the outcome is that she’s badly constipated. So at A’s request we took a detour to Sainsbury’s to buy some of the things the doctor suggested she try eating. We’ve come away with “Fruit n Fibre” cereal for her to have instead of her usual morning crumpets or bagels; dried fruit; fresh strawberries; high fibre pasta and some high fibre cereal bars.

As a fellow sufferer I have vowed to eat what she eats if she promises to drink the same amount of water as me each day. She’s a demon for not drinking enough (not a problem I’m familiar with!) so hopefully hearing it from the doctor rather than nagging mummy will sink in!

As she’s been off school for something relatively minor (let’s face it she just needs a good poo – and yes I know it’s uncomfortable and can make your tummy really hurt) I refused to allow her to watch TV all day. And to give her credit she has kept herself very busy with a project to earn herself a badge at brownies, learning all about brownies around the world. She’s drawn pictures, made a friendship circle, made a jigsaw (from cardboard not an actual jigsaw!) and made a poster about Sri Lanka. And she’s been good company. She does need to learn the art of a companionable silence though. K and I get along so well because neither of us feel the need to fill every minute with talking. A hasn’t inherited this gene from either of us. She talks CONSTANTLY! Even when she’s on her own. I think she imagines she’s a presenter on Blue Peter all the time.

Although it’s been quite an easy day and she’s kept herself busy (with some input from me) by the time tea time was over I was desperate for a bit of quiet time. So I took myself off to my favourite spot at the bottom of the garden where, to my delight, I discovered that my new plant has got beautiful big daisy like flowers on and my little plant that looked like it was off to the big garden centre in the sky has also got a bright pink flower blooming from it with lots of other little shoots growing. Just fab. Happy moment: tick.

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