A glimmer

On what has truly been a horrible day I have struggled to see anything to make me smile.

A woke up this morning with a bad tummy ache and had to be persuaded to give school a go. I was due to meet a possible new member of our work team to talk her through the job I do and that she potentially will be doing for our French and German customers so the idea of having to juggle a sick child as well was not great. However mum and dad live just around the corner from where the meeting was due to take place so all was not lost. Luckily she was ok to go in but I suspected a call from the school office would be imminent, so M&D were put on standby for child sitting duty.

My suspicions were spot on and the call came at 10.45am and I went to collect her. We headed off to mum and dads and arrived just as they were returning from the shops. As soon as we set foot in the house I knew all was not well but had no idea of the bombshell I was about to face. My lovely Auntie B has died very suddenly of a heart attack. I am devastated. The timing wasn’t great as I was due to meet previously mentioned potential new colleague at the boss’s house. So I had to leave my poor, beyond-sad mum and dad with an upset A (who couldn’t fail to hear the news) and off I went trying to pull myself together. Disaster. I missed the turning to the house and had to do a 3 point turn in the tightest of lanes and then bloody missed it again and had to repeat the exercise before finally getting there (in one piece, amazingly). The meeting was a blur and as soon as I left I stopped in a layby and called K. He’s due to be away overnight tonight but without hesitation told me he’s coming home and will drive back to his meeting in the morning.

Back to mum and dad’s where the sadness was just unbearable. My Uncle H died last year and Auntie B had been very sad and lonely ever since. She was wheelchair bound through osteoporosis and had carers coming in to her several times a day. My mum and dad visited her regularly and the children and I went as often as possible. They were both very fond of her indeed. I always loved seeing her (we normally went with mum and dad) and we always laughed about old stories from when my dad was a boy and she would drag him to Sunday school (she was ten years older) and other funny, funny stories. She loved seeing the children and although she has 4 grandchildren and a great-granddaughter of her own, her face still lit up when she saw my two and she always wanted to know what they’d been up to. I will miss her very much.

So, I haven’t really imagined I would find anything much to smile about today but my lovely girl came up trumps when she asked me to spectate at her teddies “race for homeless teddies” and I was even provided with little flags to help me cheer my chosen participants on. Her imagination and creativity amazes me and it made me smile. And then my lovely T came home with a grade 6c for his geography assessment which he’d worked so hard it – it made my day.

It’s going to be a tough few days and I can’t begin to imagine how sad my poor parents and my cousin and second cousins are feeling but I am very grateful to have my family and the little things that still make me smile.

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