Yes, me again. I know, you hear nothing from me for days and then it’s all “look at me posting twice on one day”. Sorry.
A has just asked me if I have “any spare glass pots around by any chance; there’s one on your desk that you bought in the summer and never used; can I have it please?” When I enquired (whilst trying to decide if I should laugh at her bare-faced cheek or be cross at her bare-faced cheek) what she wanted the potentially unwanted pot for she told me that she would like a pot to put her wishes and dreams in for Grandma (K’s Nan) to see.
We talked last night at bedtime about Grandma not being with us any more and I told A that I have always liked to believe that people don’t truly leave us if we continue to remember them and think of them. And that it was OK to be sad but that Grandma is now with Grandad and is happy being back with him. She likes the idea of this and it has always been something that (despite my very non-committal religious viewpoint) helps me cope with the idea of loved ones no longer being with us. My own Nan is a great believer in the afterlife and I have grown up with this notion of people being reunited and being able to carry on seeing us and how we grow. Not everyone’s viewpoint, I know, but I don’t think there is any harm in allowing a A to get some comfort from putting a little note in a pot to tell Grandma about her dreams and wishes. She knows that she won’t get an answer – they’re not going to be like the letters that she sends to the tooth fairy that require replies (god that creature has got ridiculously small handwriting) – and she knows that Grandma isn’t really here but she wants to do it.