Day 146

I like being busy but some days I feel like time just runs away from me. I’ve never been unfortunate enough to be one of those mums still running around at 10pm and I know I’m lucky that my job is so flexible that I can get stuff done on the days I work from home, but some evenings I just don’t know how the clock can possibly be saying 8pm and I’ve still got things to do. I guess life changes as kids get older. I’ve never really noticed before how much busier we seem to be, but lately it’s become more obvious. I would never have considered baking biscuits at 7pm, but there doesn’t seem to be any time anywhere else in the day, and when it’s homework what can you do?

I used to think I was the odd one out of my friends. I used to worry that I clearly wasn’t doing enough if I was able to watch TV in the evening when it sounded like everyone else was running around like headless chickens. I was a bit envious of their busy lives full of stuff they had to do. Oh, how the grass is always so much greener. I’m not at the headless chicken stage yet but I can see it on the horizon.

It’s so easy to overlook the really important little things in all the rushing and frantic biscuit making. I haven’t read with A for at least a fortnight. Don’t get me wrong – she’s been reading (all the time) but I haven’t read to her. And I miss it. So, I need to do more of that. K and I didn’t have a night out on our own in February, and March isn’t looking promising. So, I need to make sure we do in April. T and I have been still having our Smallville nights which are lovely, but perhaps too frequent and I maybe need to do something a bit more interactive with him than just sit in front of the TV? Family games night died a death after the last one ended in a row. Must try harder.

But in amongst the rushing, and the guilt, there are still glimpses that I’m getting some things right: – A telling me she’ll never want me to stop singing her bedtime song “even when I’m really grown up, like 13 or something, mummy” and T giving me the biggest hugs imaginable and telling me I’m the best. Happy little moments.

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