Sad/not sad

Yesterday, I had a misery guts day. The weather was dreadful. The decorations and shininess of Xmas had gone. I had nothing to do except vacuum the house as clean the bathroom. I felt miserable. And I made sure everyone knew it. I have been struggling with T not spending as much time with us. It’s the first holiday that I’ve been aware of the teen effect happening. And it makes me sad. So I asked him to help cheer me up and we had a lovely hour or so playing Jenga, Pick-up-sticks and Connect 4. He was so much fun and let me win (he knows me so well). It was a very happy hour. 

Today we have been back up the M1 to Birmingham for K’s youngest brothers 40th birthday lunch. It’s a long way for lunch but it had to be done and we had an OK meal (rock hard roasties and cold veg. This was at a pub so a bit disappointing.) Two hours to get home made it an even longer trip for a 3 hour lunch! 

Tonight I am hit by the Sunday night feeling. The children don’t go back to school until Tuesday and Wednesday but tomorrow homework has to be finished and bags packed. Early nights. Packed lunches. The usual old routine. The usual end of holiday quandary. Am I sad? Yes a bit. Am I not sad to be getting back to normal? Not massively sad. But more sad each time a holiday season ends. Each holiday now seems like one more assigned to history and one step further towards more teen moments and less family time. Proud of my boy today, though. Sitting in the middle of the table of twelve and chatting to his cousin and uncle so confidently and articulately. He is growing up and becoming a teen but hopefully one I will continue to feel proud of. 

A very exciting note to end on: in my fridge I have two pheasants waiting to be roasted for dinner on Wednesday night. A very thoughtful and unusual Xmas present from Mrs Lovely. Watch this space. 


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