Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go shopping much. I go out most Fridays because it’s my day off and I don’t want to spend it washing, cleaning, etc. But I don’t always go shopping. I sometimes go to garden centres, I sometimes go for walks. I don’t actually enjoy clothes shopping. I quite like buying handbags – because they always fit. And you can never have too many, as someone once said.
But, I had birthday money to spend, and I really needed some summer style clothes (a lot of my old stuff is too big or just plain awful so I need a bit of an overhaul in the wardrobe department. I live in jeans and desperately needed to find some that fir properly. They are either too big on the waist, but too tight in the thigh. Or fit on the waist but too short in the leg. I’m an odd shape apparently as no standard size jeans appear to fit me. I wonder who this woman is that can wear anything from any shop. Does she even exist? I hate her whoever she is.
So, my lovely friend Mrs F and I headed off to Milton Keynes – because if I can’t find something to wear from the countless outlets available there then I am without hope. I wasn’t expecting miracles. If I’m honest I was more concerned with getting a bacon roll for breakfast and making sure we had time to fit in the “cream tea for two” offer that I had snapped up on my Sparks card. It’s always all about the food for me. Perhaps that explains the “nothing fits” issue? Anyway, I digress. I had a list – of course – of what I would like to lay my mitts on. It was very non-specific: a jacket; jeans; tops; sandals. I had no real idea of what these would look like. Not helpful.
However, I am blessed with having my very own, much less camp and much less bossy, version of Gok Wan in the form of Mrs F and so I was in safe hands. She knows me well. She knows my limitations on clothes, i.e not tight, not form fitting, not revealing, not trendy; the list goes on. And she knows what I will be fidgety in and what I will end up never wearing. She’s basically a god(dess). So, in the first half hour of shopping (bacon roll on board) I had the jeans sorted. I had done some research on these (the only thing that I had bothered to look at beforehand) and had decided that the half price Levis that I had seen online might be worth investigating. The only sticking point was the size as they only had limited sizes in the sale and I was therefore convinced that I would be unlucky. But I was wrong. I tried the smaller pair on (the ones that were in the sale) and they fitted. All over. They were fitted on the waist (no gaping waistband at the back that makes me look deformed); they were long enough in the leg (which was lucky as they were a 34″ and I doubt they go any longer than that!); and they were tight on the legs but not skinny jean, painted on tight, just tight enough. Result. Elated I immediately went online (yes, there and then) and ordered the ones in the sale.
We were on a roll now (not a bacon one) and in the next hour I was up by two more tops and had an idea of the sort of jacket I wanted. Another hour in and I had the jacket. This was fate. We went into White Stuff after I muttered about it being pricey and somewhere that I only ever buy from when it’s got a sale on. However, and call me a sentimental old fool, but when I heard the song “Electrical Storm” by U2 playing as we entered the store I knew magic was going to happen. And it did. How could it not? One of my all time favourite songs was playing. I was singing (sorry all other shoppers in the White Stuff store in Milton Keynes at around midday yesterday) and I was relaxed. And Mrs F found the jacket. As I said a few seconds ago, White Stuff is a sale only option as far as I am concerned so when I found that my jacket (because it was now mine even though I hadn’t handed over any money yet) was more than just a bit expensive I felt a bit sick. It was going to be snatched away from under my very nose. What was I going to do? So, I did a “sod it”. I don’t do these often, so one was due. Sod it all. I am going to buy my jacket and I am going to feel lovely in it and it will be worth every penny. Imagine my pure joy when the sales assistant told me that because I had spent a certain amount I was going to receive £20 off! £20 off my jacket!!! Which basically meant that it was actually a reasonable price all along and I didn’t need to use my “sod it”. I told you magic was going to happen.
Sandals were sorted in short sharp time and then we were off to M&S for our cream tea. It was the tastiest cream tea I have had in a long time. And all because I had a list with every item ticked off. I had bags with lovely things in. And the shopping trip was over.
And all thanks to my lovely Shopping Fairy. She’s magic.
P.S. The fact that my fairy also managed to buy herself a pair of jeans in a teeny tiny size was the icing on a bit fat shopping cake or the clotted cream on a big fat shopping scone.She is not allowed to utter the words “they are on the big size though as they are from Next”. Ever. Are you listening Mrs F?