Things I’ve learned

Things I have learned whilst on holiday: 

1. No one looks good in a bikini unless they are under 25, tanned and preferably Spanish. 

2. German people are unmistakable, as are British. 

3. It doesn’t matter where you go on holiday (unless it’s somewhere off the beaten track and not heard of in a tourist guide) there will always be a shop full of crap that the owners think anyone of nationality in point 2 (above) would be keen to purchase. 

4. Not everywhere in the Canary Islands is guaranteed good weather, even in the height of summer. (Either that or we are in fact destined to have at least one crap weather day wherever we Beddoes go.) 

5. Not every capital city is worth a visit. We ventured out on the bus today as the weather looked a bit overcast and headed to the capital. Oh dear, 26 euros for a return trip was not money well spent. Unless you want to walk round a shopping centre that would give Luton Arndale a run for its money in the grotty stakes, or look at the docks. 

6. I should always trust my better judgement and pack a warm jumper regardless of our destination. The evenings here are very cool which makes for a good nights sleep but not a long evening sitting outside. A thin cardigan just doesn’t suffice. 

7. My husband is ruthless. He haggled a hair braiding African lady (loose term) down from 15 euros to 5. Ruthless. And probably quite justified. (Just to clarify, the person wanting the braiding was A and not K). 

8. On holiday I am, for some reason, able to wear shorts and dresses without feeling self conscious and/or ridiculous. And also a swimming costume (not a bikini – see point 1.) 

9. Spanish people love a baby or toddler but don’t seem vaguely interested in teenagers. Not that this matters in the slightest. Just an observation. 

10. Try as I might to be less of a tourist and endeavour to ask for things in Spanish it really isn’t worth it as the majority of the locals speak far better English than I can ever hope to emulate in Spanish. The odd gracias is really all you need. But makes me feel very lazy for not bothering to learn the language. 

11. Siblings bicker just as much away from home as they do at home. Just for more ridiculous reasons. 

12. A week definitely isn’t long enough so I am very pleased that we have another week to go. This may change as the second week progresses. 

13. Some British women wear very bizarre outfits when on holiday. Garments that you would like to think they would never wear down their local high street. But quite possibly, in some cases, do. 

14. It’s quite possible to play cards every night while sipping a glass of cold Sangria/beer/vodka and lemonade and for it not to get boring. Try this at home and I guarantee no one will be even vaguely interested. 

15. There are a lot of wi-fi hotspots even on the Canary Islands. And teenagers can always find them within just a few seconds. 

16. Colouring in is incredibly therapeutic and can be done for hours. Colouring pencils that keep breaking or need sharpening regularly are very frustrating and can often negate the calmness experienced from the colouring itself. 

17. It’s possible to read 6 books in as many days. 

18. Children don’t feel the cold unless it’s due to rain whilst on a walk in woods that they had not elected to go on. If it is due to a swimming pool outside the villa whilst on holiday they are immune to it. 

19. There is no more comfortable bed than your own. 

20. As above but this time pillows in place of bed. 


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