I know my blogs haven’t been very inspiring this year (not that that’s what I’m here for but you know what I mean). They’ve been few and far between and the ones I have written have been full of doom and gloom. It’s not been a great year for good news.
In the space of a week at the start of September, mum and dad lost not just one but two of their closest friends. I mentioned in my last blog that Tony had been taken ill suddenly and that the outlook wasn’t good, but the speed with which it happened was shocking. And then a few days later Sheila was gone. Sheila had been in and out of hospital for a couple of months – having been taken ill a few days after Roy (who I wrote about in my blog All a bit much) pulled through his operation which he had only a 1% chance of surviving. Thankfully, he has made a miraculous recovery, but Sheila was finally diagnosed with heart failure and sadly it was only a matter of time. It’s all just too sad. But I know my sadness is nothing compared to my parents – mum has lost her oldest friend, her bestie – and they will both leave a huge gap in my parents’ lives.
Funerals are never easy and Sheila’s was no exception, but it was lovely to chat to Roy later at an impromptu wake at the pub and hear stories that I’d never heard before – surprising really, considering I’ve known them my entire life, grew up with their daughter, spent so much time at their house. But I guess you don’t have those conversations when you’re a teenager and somehow the past becomes more important when you’re older.
A has been back at college doing her Traineeship since the middle of September and it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Her two close friends have gone to Uni and unfortunately, the only people who have returned in her make up class from last year are girls that she didn’t see eye to eye with and nothing has changed in that respect! She’s feeling pretty isolated socially and as much as we do stuff together and get out as much as possible, it’s not the same. But she’s got work placements coming up and they will at least be a change of scene for her and she’ll meet some new people and have some new experiences. As far as her course is concerned she’s loving it and getting lots of practical experience.
In other news, K, A and I have joined a gym. I know, who am I? Back in August K and I signed up for a month’s free training with a local personal trainer. I was dubious and not convinced I would last more than one session but, to my complete surprise, it was brilliant and I thoroughly enjoyed it. We couldn’t afford to move onto a paid subscription (it’s definitely worth the money but we don’t have the salaries to cover it!) but were keen not to lose the fitness bug that we’d caught so we decided to take a look around at a gym in a nearby village. I asked A if she wanted to come and initially it was a resounding “no”, but on the day she had a change of heart and came with us. Although she it “smells like the fitness suite at RPS (her old secondary school)” and there being a few teenage boys hanging around she wasn’t completely put off and after mulling it over for a few days she agreed to give it a go for a month. Well, that was at the beginning of September and we’ve been averaging 3 visits a week since then. The beauty of us all joining up means that there should always be at least 2 of us who want/are able to go on any given night and it’s nice to go together. We’ve all got different goals but the main thing is that we encourage each other to go and we’re all enjoying it and are glad when we’ve been, even if we didn’t really feel like it. It seems like there is something to this idea of exercise making you feel better in more than just a physical way.
Auntie H is continuing to have her chemo treatment and has had some really tough weeks. Thankfully, we found out on Tuesday that the dizziness she had been struggling with was not a sign that the cancer had spread to her brain, her scan was all clear and we are all so relieved. A little win. She is due another scan soon to see if the chemo is having any effect. We know it won’t cure it but we’re hoping it will give her more time. That’s all we can ask for at this stage.
A few weeks ago I went to a Ceilidh with my lovely “book club” friends. I was there under duress – it was for part of S’s 50th birthday celebrations and I was only there for that reason. I DON’T dance – EVER. I was prepared to give the first set a go, but expected to be sitting it out for the rest of the evening. Oh, how wrong I was, and oh how right they all were when they said how much fun it would be. It was the MOST fun I’ve had in years, I didn’t stop smiling from the minute it started until I got into bed. I held hands with strangers, got swung around, swung other people around. I galloped, I side-stepped, I “stripped the willow” and doh-si-doh’d and generally had an amazing time. I can’t wait until we can go again. I don’t even know who I am any more! No-one is more amazed than me. My family thought I was kidding when I said how much I enjoyed it. Everyone knows how much I hate dancing. K and I didn’t even dance on our wedding day. But a Ceilidh seems to have some sort of magical power. It was fabulous.
My new job is frustrating me. The project is not progressing as quickly as had been expected and consequently the volume of work I had been told would be heading my way has not materialised and I am struggling to fill my time. I hate feeling unproductive and raised my concerns with my manager at my probation review in September. He tried to allay my concerns and I have been proactive, putting myself on free courses (they won’t commit to a HR course at this stage) and getting myself familiar with policies and legal requirements. But it doesn’t help, and I’m finding it difficult to get motivated, knowing that what I am doing is not really having any impact as yet. I know I need to bide my time and I will probably be complaining about being too busy in the not too distant future. I’ve managed to dodge another team night out – they always seem to pick a date when I already have plans! The last one was on T’s 21st birthday – a great excuse! – and this next one is on the same night as a book club get together and I am NOT prepared to miss that! Not for anything. I’m not sure I will get away with it if there is a Xmas do, but I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Unless they’re planning a night in in our PJ’s in front of the TV I doubt I’ll want to go….!
My lovely friend has finally started a new chapter in her life. She packed up a van last weekend and yesterday I was privileged to see a video tour of her new home. It looks wonderful. I have no doubt that although she will, of course, have her ups and downs, this is the right move for her and I can’t wait to see it unfold. I will miss you my little friend but you’ve got this, and you deserve it. Embrace it and know that I’ve always got your back if you need me,
The diary of a happiness hunter 
🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍