I’ve survived the first week (well, four days) in my new job. I feel absolutely knackered but I’m proud of myself. It wasn’t easy and it still feels very nerve-wracking but I did it.
Tuesday was stressful – I was a few minutes late arriving at the office as the traffic was awful, although I’d allowed plenty of time. I was given a whirlwind tour of the building and was introduced to a million and one people whose names I instantly forgot. The two women that I’m going to be mainly working with seem very nice. They’re younger than me by about 20 years but that shouldn’t matter. I was taken out for lunch by two of them and that was OK, but a little bit awkward as we’d only just met and you know how I love to make small talk or answer questions about myself. I was given some online training to do, had a brief induction with HR, and before I knew it the day was over.
The next day I set off for the Leighton Buzzard branch to meet the manager there, who is going to be training me on the system and how they do things. I think the idea is that I get up to speed on the system and some of the processes that the branch staff do, and then I’ll go back to my team and learn all the stuff that they do in addition to that. So for the last 3 days I’ve been working as a cashier and learning how to do all the transactions that customers want doing, as well as getting an idea of how they work. It’s been OK and it’s starting to make sense. Some parts of the system are vaguely familiar and I’ve enjoyed the human contact with the staff and the customers. But it’s knackering: learning new stuff; meeting new people; chatting to people; being the new, inexperienced person.
I had a major wobble on Wednesday morning and a bit of a cry, after a bad night’s sleep. I just wanted to stay at home and pretend the outside world didn’t exist. It’s been so easy being at home all the time for these last two months and so even just getting up and dressed and out of the house has felt challenging, let alone then doing all the other things in the previous paragraphs! But K was great and gave me a hug and some supportive words in my ear and off I went. And I was fine. Each day has been a little bit easier and I’m trying hard to make myself only look a few days ahead. And I’m trying very hard to be proud of myself and to just bloody give myself a break. Starting a new job at any age is nerve-wracking and challenging. I just need to give myself time to adjust. And if I can’t do it, then I can’t do it. But I think I owe it to myself to try. One day at a time.
It was VERY odd getting up and going to work on a Friday for the first time in over 20 years. And I am going to miss spending time with Mrs F. But we met for a bacon sandwich and a cuppa this morning and had a good catch up. It was lovely. It would take more than a new job to stop us spending time together and having each others backs.
I’m keen to try and get weekends back to how they were when we were coming out of lockdown. The slower pace and spending more time just being at home and doing nothing was so lovely. We seem to have reverted back to being here, there and everywhere, cramming so much into a short space of time but never feeling like we’ve actually done anything. Now that I only have 2 days to relax (and I’ll be working some Saturday mornings in the future) I really want to make the most of them and not spend them rushing around. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but I’m determined to try.
I’ve had some lovely messages of encouragement and to see how I’m getting on this week and I’m so grateful. I feel so supported and cared for and it really is lovely.
The diary of a happiness hunter 