Day 20

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my 40th birthday. I decided when I turned 40 that I wouldn’t care. And I don’t really, but in my head I’m 26. I didn’t love being 26. I’ve been much happier (that word again…) since I’ve been 40 but 42 just sounds so blinkin’ old! So my friend (whose birthday is 2 days before mine) and I decided we would just have 40th birthday anniversaries from now on.

And as anniversaries (or even birthdays) go it was pretty nice. I don’t like lying in, so the whole “have a lie in and we’ll bring you breakfast in bed” doesn’t really work for me. So, it was all fairly normal apart from some lovely cards and gifts before I got up. K has hurt his back over the last day (by bending down, nothing heroic) so the planned bike ride looked to be in jeopardy but my powers of reverse psychology won the day (again) and he decided that he was manly enough not to ruin my day and managed to get the bikes on the roof rack. And off we headed. And we had a good day – some moaning from the youngest one but hey ho!

I have to mention my friends survival kit from my lovely other Jane and some fab maps from lovely Mrs L. I look forward to getting my trainers mucky walking with her!

I’m a lucky girl.

Day 19

This week has been so brilliant. I’m actually amazed that not only was I looking forward to it (I’m normally a “things will go wrong” kind of girl) but that it’s actually worked out even better than I imagined. We’ve spent so much proper time with the kids and each other, it’s been really special.

This morning we met grandma and grandad for breakfast at the stunning Luton Hoo estate. It’s the 2 year anniversary of my 40th birthday tomorrow but G&G are at a family wedding so we celebrated a day early.

We’ve been before on our own (K and I) and we’ve been with G&G but never with the kids. They were awestruck when we arrived – “it’s like going for breakfast at a National Trust house!!!” – and the food itself seemed equally as pleasing. And they were so well behaved and polite. Real stars.

It was so lovely to go with them and G&G – a real family outing. Another happy time and one to remember.

Day 18

A tiring but happy day. We went off to Brighton for the day expecting clouds and a chilly air. We ended up eating ice creams under a cloudless blue sky sitting in the beach. We went to the sea life centre (T & A got to use their Blue Peter badges to get in for free) and saw scary sharks, funny-faced rays and very friendly turtles. A was very brave and touched a starfish. We went on the pier (my turn to be brave) and played on the 2p machines. So naff but good fun! Lunch at Harry Ramsdens was a real treat – Kev enjoyed his mushy peas! And a stroll along The Lanes and a mooch in some of the less odd shops. Two very tired children on the way home – luckily they slept through the traffic jam on the M25 so the journey wasn’t too stressful!

Lots of happy moments and more memories made.

#100happydays

Day 17

Bit of a roller coaster day today.

A had yet another appointment with lovely Hugh the dentist this morning to (hopefully) remove the remaining rogue tooth that’s stopping the adult one coming through.

Poor love has really been through the mill in the last 2 weeks with such a lot of repercussions from what we thought would be a routine 6 month check up. We’ve had 3 teeth out (one very quickly and painlessly and two with injections, blood and pain over the course of 3 appointments) and a 2 hour long hospital apppointment resulting in x rays, photos and moulds ready for a retainer to be fitted in a week or so.

She was so brave today for the 3rd extraction in the full knowledge that it was going to hurt. The dentist (lovely Hugh) was so good with her – he’s very patient and really talks to her rather than directing all the info to me – and she was very upset but thankfully it was all over very quickly, and she was soon full of smiles for him.

We popped to see grandma and grandad to cheer her up and she showed them her map of London from our trip yesterday. My Dad loves maps, especially of London, so he was thrilled to bits to see where we’d been. A happy moment watching them poring over the map together. They absolutely think the world of each other.

Another dip on the roller coaster as I met up with an old friend who’s having a tough time. We caught up on all that’s been happening, with a few tears at how life can change in a heartbeat and everything you felt sure of becomes uncertain. I really feel for her and feel sad that she’s been so let down by someone we both thought was an absolute rock. Life really is a bitch sometimes.

Back up the loop of the ride again later with a very brief visit to the other Jane to give her some birthday cheer for tomorrow. I always feel a sense of calm when I go to her house and she never fails to make me smile, so another happy moment.

#100happydays

Day 16

London, baby! Yeah! (Sorry if you never watched Friends that will just seem weird).

Today the Beddoe four went on a much planned, much awaited day trip to London. We went on the Eye, visited the Bank of England Museum, walked on the Millennium bridge (which the kids loved as it was in one of their favourite Harry Potter films) and saw lots of fantastic sights.

Even despite the rain we had a brilliant day with lots of very happy memories made. I love it when a plan comes together!

Day 15

Happy moment today? Easy. Bike ride. By a lake. No cars. No one whinging. Perfect.

Day 14 – 2 weeks in and loving the challenge

Wow 14 days already. I really hadn’t thought too much about what this challenge meant or how it would work out. The first few days were a breeze and I found it very easy to see the happy. Then I had a bit of a lull and the happy was harder to find. I’ve always been aware (as we probably all are – unless you’re one of those perpetually happy people who’ve never had a mood swing even as a teenager) of my dips in mood and that they can swing from cheerful to melancholy at the drop of a hat. So the less easy days have not come as a big shocker. But what has been great about doing this challenge (and I intend to continue this practice after the 100 days) is that I’ve made myself find my happy moment even when it’s got to a late stage of the day.

So, it’s proved to me that I am the master of my happiness and if that be from spending time with genuinely lovely, no agenda friends and family or just reading my favourite book then I can choose to be happy. I can make the happy moment happen.

When I turned 40 nearly 2 years ago I joked that that was it now, I was going to only do things that made me happy. This was a very half hearted attempt at being nonchalant about turning 40. I knew that I would still do things I didn’t want to or go to events I didn’t want to attend. After all I still had to clean the bathroom so how far could I really take this?

But actually the reality has been that I’ve made more time for me. I’ve had tea at the Ritz, I’ve worn dresses for the first time since I was nine, I’ve promised myself a spa day once a year and I’ve been to more gigs and concerts than in the whole of my twenties. I’ve reassessed who my real friends are and I’ve cherished family more.

This #100happydays challenge couldn’t be more appropriate to my life at the moment. I am going to enjoy finding my happy moments and making them happen when I need to.

So back to today. I have avoided sleepover dates for my kids like they were the plague but today I grabbed the bull by the horns and T has a friend here tonight. We’ve had a barbecue and a fire in the garden and they’re now getting ready to “go to sleep”. And it’s been fine. In fact it’s been more than fine. They’re great kids and they have made me smile. The happiest moment was T saying goodnight to A and giving her a huge hug. Not too unusual in some houses I expect but few and far between here. Happy days.

Day 13

Late posting today. I’m not pinpointing a specific moment today. It’s all been pretty nice really. Not because of anything special, just because we’ve had a very chilled out day. We’re all getting in “time off” mode and the realisation that we’ve got a few days ahead of us to spend doing things we like. A happy day without trying.

Day 12

Today’s happy time is simple: lunch and a spot of shopping with my wonderful mum. She always makes me smile. She still thinks I’m 14 years old, but sometimes I need that. To be a daughter and not be the one in charge, just for a few hours. So when she tells me to “be quiet – I’m buying lunch and that’s the end of it” I listen and do as I’m told. On the other hand she values my opinion and listens to my point of view.

My dad always jokes, when we’re leaving their house to go shopping, “be nice to each other – no arguing”. He remembers the good old days of my teen years when she drove me mad, trying to “advise” me what to buy. I suppose as she was probably paying she had a right to advise. It’s more equal these days with each of us giving our honest opinions – never too brutal I hope!

You hear women saying that their mums are their best friends. I don’t buy that – my mum is my mum. She’s supported me when I’ve needed her; nothing’s real until I’ve told her; I can always rely on her and I value her so much – especially since having my own children. She’s my lovely mum.

#100happydays

Day 11

I’m starting to feel a little like a person shipwrecked on a desert island, counting the days since I washed up here. Some days I wish I WAS on a desert island.

There would need to be some ground rules though. Firstly a bed. Yes, I know it’s not very realistic but this is my fantasy so go with it. I’ve been camping and glamping and it’s just not for me. Nothing other than a king sized, quilted-mattress bed will do.

Secondly a loo. I am not one of these hysterical people who can’t use public toilets – I have favourites obviously (John Lewis) – but I cannot do alfresco i.e. no cubicle. I regularly have disturbing dreams where I am desperate for a pee and the only loo I can find is smack bang in the middle of a shop and there’s nothing surrounding it. Think Homebase bathroom display toilet in the middle of the Indigo section of M&S. So yes, most definitely a toilet.

Thirdly, music. I can’t be without music. And books, preferably a kindle. With wi-fi.

Oh and I haven’t mentioned food or water. Oh hell. Let’s face it, this fantasy desert island scenario is starting to sound like a week in Sandals (no kids allowed) but without my husband, and we all know that’s never going to happen. Time to snap out of it.

So back to today – day 11. I have been looking forward to today for a couple of weeks. It marks the start of Happy Half Term. No work for either me or K for a week. Lovely things planned (and the pessimist in me has been bound and gagged so no negative thoughts about bad weather, illness, crises, etc. can sneak in and spoil the mood), determined to be chilled and happy.

My happy moment today cannot be photographed. It was very special though. My increasingly more teenager-like-by-the-day son had the day off “ill”. He was feeling poorly last night and was awake until quite late so the softie that I occasionally am let him stay at home on the understanding that homework was completed and that he helped me sort out the pile of Lego that’s been sitting in my dining room since before Christmas. We were sitting in companionable silence until he started chatting, and chatting and chatting. It was so lovely and I had a “moment”. My sensitive, thoughtful, caring boy was back and he made me smile. A lot.

#100happydays